elfination

We were in Java class discussing the final exam (due on the 30th). And we’d talked about initializing an array, in the past.

Well, you can have a more-than-one dimension array! Like… A TWO-dimensional array (columns and rows)

Which is like working on matrices, explained our instructor.

Only, he’s got this accent. And he didn’t say “Matrices”, he said (I swear) “Mattresses”.

Well, when I’m done with this stupid term paper for my english class… I’d like to explore a three-dimensional mattress, since the one on my foldycouchbed is kinda … flat.

–Em

Virgo: 18 July 2010: “You are attempting to live your life within the limitations of other people’s ideas, rules and expectations now. But it’s not always a smart idea to color within the lines of your coloring book. Extending beyond your current boundaries should prove to be quite exciting, especially if you are willing to let your emotions be your guide.”

Um.. thanks, horoscope, for your permission. Seems like I do this a lot.

If I “color outside the lines” just because my horoscope says to, am I attempting to live within others’ expectations, or not? Hmm.

I play silly flash games at Kongregate.com … it’s a hobby that occupies some of my time, and I enjoy it.

There’s a chat window, as well, and it’s filled with people who can’t spell, who dis each others’ religions, who go around rampantly screaming obscenities until a moderator silences them, that sort of thing. Sometimes people talk about games, but that’s rare. There’s also a VERY healthy dose of young males boasting about something, whether it’s how strong they are, how many girlfriends they’ve had… etc. We all know how young males are. Thus, it’s no surprise for them to try to one-up each other on how devoted they are to any given topic. I usually stay “away” in chat, even if I’m at the computer.

In the following instance, I have no idea what the topic was.

PlatypusMan: no
PlatypusMan: i gess u culd sai im hardcor

Kong Bot: Set status to active

Elfnow: ….
Elfnow: A hardcore what? lolcat?

PlatypusMan: A hardcore hardcore.

Thank you, VMAXGUY for this enlightening tidbit. I also appreciate that it’s repeated, just in case I didn’t understand it the first time.

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that..

Sent from my Android phone”

Your Android phone must really be getting a workout, if you’re bothering to hit my blog. Or, you’re lying. My vote is for the latter. It’s ok though, you still get a shout-out.
–Em

We’ve all read the instructions for “how to give a cat a pill” which start reasonably calmly, and end up with the cat still unmedicated and the owner in the hospital for major injuries and bleeding.

It’s easier than that, because of intent. You simply cannot approach a cat with “need to give you a pill” in your head. Cats are smarter than that, and it should come as no surprise they can TELL when you’re coming after them to give them a pill. The more you brace yourself for conflict, the more conflict you’re gonna get.

Now, I’ll admit this is somewhat easier with KB, because he’s such a lovebug of a cat… but the basic trick is known as “ninja-pilling”. You quietly get the pill ready, held between thumb/forefinger of one hand. With the other hand, you pet the cat, starting at his head. After about 5 repeated strokes of the cat from head to tail, you alter the pet… instead of a flat hand on the cat’s head, you wedge his mouth open with your thumb and forefinger of the petting hand, quickly chuck the pill in, use the pill hand to close his mouth while you get your petting hand out of the way. Hold his mouth shut ’til he swallows. Then pet him a few more times.

The upshot is that the cat knows he got petted like 8-10 times, except that one bizarre fuckup in the middle there, but it’s all good… well, except that weird taste… what’s THAT.

You have to be VERY QUICK. You can’t futz around with wedging the cat’s mouth open or finagling the pill further back in his throat or any of that. You just have to get it in there and get his mouth shut and rub his throat while telling the surprised cat what a good kitty he is.

The more of a production you make of it, the more memorable it becomes, and the more disastrous it is NEXT time he gets sick.
The ninja-pilling. It works.

My silly java program got 100% plus the comment, “Well done!!”

yay!

So, it came to my attention that one can purchase puppy vaccines and dog booster shots at your local Tractor Supply store. (Handy! I do demos AT TRACTOR SUPPLY!)

The vaccine for a new (6-week) puppy is $6.99. The add-on vaccines and boosters are $5.49 each. Each vaccine is good against 7 different viruses… including canine parvovirus.

Giving dogs vaccines is a GOOD IDEA, but taking the dog to the vet is like $50 or more!! So, imagine my surprise and adoration to find the vaccines I need, for less than $10 apiece! Yay!

I bought the 5-in-1 new-puppy vaccine kit, which comes with a little vial of dessicated “virus cake” (yum!), a vial of dilute solution, and a syringe.

Uncap syringe. Uncap dilute solution. Remove dilute solution, using syringe. Uncap vial of dry powder. Hydrate with syringeful of dilute solution. Remove syringe, re-cap. Shake vial well. Uncap syringe, withdraw entire contents of shaken vial into syringe.

Now… hold the puppy down, and stab an inch-long needle into the scruff of his neck, just under the skin. Draw back the plunger of the syringe to be sure that blood does not flow easily. Slowly inject the solution as you withdraw the syringe from the puppy’s scruff.

……..

Okay, THAT is what you pay the vet for.

You pay the VET to hire a TECH so that TWO PEOPLE (neither one of them YOU) can hold down a squirming writhing wiggling yelping biting puppy, grab the scruff of his neck, and inject the vaccination… without stabbing themselves in the process or dropping the needle on the floor or stabbing the puppy in the nose or having the cat come over to check out why you’re trying to distract the puppy by letting him eat cat food while you’ve got a sharp thing in your hand.

(to be clear, I didn’t stab myself or the puppy’s nose, but it was close… I did drop the syringe more than once, and kept having to wipe it off with alcohol swabs which meant letting go of the puppy…..)

In the end, though, I *DID* get the puppy vaccinated against distemper, parvo, and a few other viruses… for under $10. It just wasn’t easy.

As a reward, the puppy got a huge lunch of dog kibble with warm cat food gravy, topped with a little shredded cheese.

I’m going to my next job now, thankful it’s so much easier.

–Em

And now it’s time for another Good Idea / Bad Idea.

Good Idea: Fetching toys from the toy box.

Bad Idea: Fetching “toys” from the CAT box.

(not only does he create mass amounts of his OWN poop, but he also recycles OTHER poop too! Great!)

Supposed to buy a crate that is big enough for the full-sized grown dog and then block part of it off for the puppy-sized version of the dog. I say, “cat carrier”. And it’s… it’s BEAUTIFUL. So much peace. The whining, the hissing, the complaints from Bastien… all shhhh quiet…
yay.

There I was, happily a “cat person”… until quite suddenly I’m now the proud owner (foster mom? owner? Indefinite housing arrangement?) of a small beagle.

I’ve had dogs before, but they’ve all been outside dogs. I’ve never had an inside dog.

I’ve NEVER EVER owned a puppy.

I work for a pet food company. I spend my weekends milling around PetSmart, listening to the dog trainers teach puppy classes. I’ve picked up some concepts. It’s still a big pile of “OMGWTF” when you’ve got a puppy right there in the flesh, being a spastic little thing ’til it falls asleep on the spot.

Right. So. The puppy’s previous owner, Sheree, gave me his toys and such. I started him on Blue Buffalo dog food. And my cats are displeased, to say the least.

I’ve named the dog Darwin. (Sheree had named him Bohagen… but c’mon… beagle…) Anyway. He’s VERY playful. Dogs “bow” when they want to play, pressing their front paws and chest down against the floor in a submissive “downward dog” pose. It signals to other dogs that it’s playtime. Wrestling, chasing, and tug-of-war games should commence.

Cats don’t speak this language at all.

Dogs are pretty flexible about learning new tricks… and KB has begun to teach Darwin a few new games… which are often rather one-sided, but Darwin still seems to enjoy playing them.

New Game #1: “I sit 1 foot out of your reach and mama will scold you for barking.”

New Game #2: “When I meow loudly and growl, you lie down.”

New Game #3: “I will eat YOUR food in a display of dominance, while you get the hell away from me.” This one is particularly fun to Darwin, who gleefully grabbed his ropy-toy and scampered around in circles behind KB’s arched back.

Bastien has decided that if there’s a dog on the floor, then BASTIEN will be in the cupboards above the refrigerator.

It took me a while to figure out where Basto had gone, but then I saw two little glitters peering out from the inky blackness of the cabinet-above-the-fridge, and the shadow coalesced into a black cat who then sat on the microwave. The dog would have been fascinated, if he’d even noticed.

I’ve told Sheree that if she gets out of this icky relationship she’s in, and gets her own place where she can keep a dog, she can take him back at that point. I don’t know how it’ll work out, but in the meantime….

dear god, I own a dog. O.o