elfination

So, as an apparent nod to the Intelligent Design folks, we now have Ice Age 3.

Ice Age, as we all remember, had a sabertooth tiger, a giant sloth, and a woolly mammoth as primary characters. Their mission? to return a neo-human baby - a child with very appropriately Asian features - to its tribe… as they went on their great migration.

Then we had Ice Age 2: Electric Boogaloo, which featured our three primary male leads getting laid. That’s nice for them.

But now, we have Ice Age 3: Land of the Lost, Except Without Sleestaks. McDonald’s picked up the toys and marketed them as happymeals “A Million Years in the Making!!”

So let’s recap:

• Woolly Mammoth… “This mammoth species was first recorded in (possibly 150,000 years old) deposits of the second last glaciation in Eurasia. They were derived from steppe mammoths (Mammuthus trogontherii).”

• Sabertooth Tiger… “an extinct genus of large machairodontine saber-toothed cats that lived between approximately 2.5 million to 10,000 years ago in North and South America.”

• Giant Sloth… “The megalonychid ground sloths first appeared in the early Oligocene, about 35 million years ago, in southern Argentina (Patagonia). Megalonychids first reached North America by island-hopping, perhaps from the Antilles. Some lineages of megalonychids increased in size as time progressed. The first species of these were small and may have been partly tree-dwelling, whereas the Pliocene (about 5 to 2 million years ago) species were already approximately half the size of the huge Late Pleistocene Megalonyx jeffersonii from the last ice age.”

Okay.  So we can agree that, somehow, at some point, these three creatures did all live at the same time.  Though the Woolly Mammoths were primarily Eurasian.  But nevermind that.

Featured in the Ice Age 3: Jesus Canters In On A Velociraptor movie

are multiple “very angry fossils” that went extinct during the Mesozoic era (Jurassic, Triassic, and Cretaceous periods).