elfination

Oh, wait, I forgot.  You don’t know where Massachusetts is, do you?

Yeahhhh.  OK see, a few weeks ago, I got a flyer in my mailbox.  About how some cars had been broken into.  And about how a house was broken into.  And how a seven-felony-conviction-registered-sex-offender lives two streets over.  I honestly don’t think these things are related, but hey, leave it to a fanatic to connect the dots for me.  Said fanatic also said, oh-so-helpfully… “If you notice any suspicious activity, call the Police or Nathan.”

Wait.  So, Nathan’s gonna take calls about suspicous activity at 2 AM?  ROCK THE FUCK ON.  Man, like our own lil’ neighborhood Vigilante.  That’s awesome.  I’m picturing him now.  38, the youngest child of three, a little paunchy, a wife he doesn’t like, two kids, a dog his kids wanted but he hates, and a mortgage in our fine subdevelopment.  And a mommy-he’s-touching-my-personal-space complex. 

A few days ago, we got a flyer on our door that says “NEIGHBORHOOD MEETING!!!”   And just to further discredit Nathan (I’m sure he penned the latter flyer, too, because … I can’t even put my finger on why, it’s just obvious….)  The date is listed as Tuesday, March 21st at 6pm.   He must mean next year, because Tuesday is March 22nd this year.  It listed several keynote speakers, such as the parole officer for one certain ethnically-named seven-felony-convictions guy.  “Please attend,” it said, “your safety and your property values are at stake!!!  Let’s keep child molesters OUT of our neighborhood!!!”  You can tell how much respect I have for this guy’s opinion already.  After all, it’s not like the guy didn’t ALREADY BUY A HOUSE HERE.  Exactly how are we going to “KEEP” child molesters out of our neighborhood? 

Barrett and I agree that we should be responsible and ONE of us should go to this meeting.  I voted for Barrett.  Because I might just open my damn mouth and say something obnoxious like,

“I don’t know if you guys got the memo, but this man has already been tried, convicted, AND sentenced.  By OTHER PEOPLE.  Let’s not reinvent the wheel here.”

or,

“Nathan… why did you feel the need to do this?  Let me guess.  You looked at the police department’s sex offender website.  And you felt wronged somehow by seeing an address a few streets away.  And the thoughts ate at you, didn’t they?  You were posessed by some need beyond yourself, some drive you could not describe or understand.  And in that, you are no different from this man whom you are speaking so ill of.  But for you, there was no way to banish your mental demons than to have a public Isn’t-Nathan-A-Good-Guy meeting.  I mean, far be it from me to take away whatever validation you’re getting out of this public one-upsmanship, but the only reason I am here is because, without an opposing voice, you’d probably simply elect yourself All High King of All the Homeowners Forever And Ever.”

or even,

“OOOOH!!! Wait!! Is THIS the part where we all grab torches and burn the guy’s house down with him inside it?”

Nooo, clearly I shouldn’t go to a public meeting of this sort if I want to keep MY house standing.  I don’t know the man in question.  Nor do I want to.  I am not his friend, nor will I ever be.  But I can live and let live, you know?  I mean, let’s get serious here.  I have a security system on the house, and I set it when I’m home alone.  If I have children, I won’t let them play in his yard.  I won’t go jogging late at night.  SURE I feel somewhat wary because there is a repeat-offender living within a half-mile of my domicile.  But I’m not going to call a fucking neighborhood meeting about it.  To be fair, there were other speakers listed. Judy (the builder), who’s going to talk about turning the reins over to a Homeowner’s Association, A city chamber member, and a police officer who will talk about establishing a neighborhood watch will all be there. But the focus was really on the paroled guy.

I guess it’s the difference between situational awareness and herd-mentality.   Do you know why animals form herds?  It’s not just for companionship and ease of mate selection.  It improves each animal’s chances of NOT getting eaten if they’re all in a big group. The other animals don’t fight the intruder on behalf of the old sick one that gets bitten… they run like fuckin’ HELL and thank their lucky stars that the predator wasn’t hungrier or stronger or faster. 

I just think that if people have all this miraculous sentience, we should be able to, you know, look out for ourselves.  This all wraps around to an essay entitled “I only believe in ME”, which is very anti-God, but that’s another chapter.   I just don’t want to be part of the herd.

Is there something wrong with me here?  Am I being utterly naive?  Isn’t there just as much chance of the guy next door to me abusing his children or his wife, or of the guy two doors the other way secretly fantasizing about little boys?  Or both?  Yeah, yeah, Bassil whatever.  We know who he is.  We can avoid him.  Next we teach our children that it’s not so much the CONVICTED child-molesters of the world that we need to watch out for, it’s weird “uncle” Louie and his next-door neighbor. 

YES, sure, we need to keep our seven-year-olds safe from Evil Predators Who Might Lurk At the Bus Stop.  Children have only developing situational awareness, and thus should be looked after.  I’ve seen too many four-year-olds walk SMACK into the edge of a table without changing course that I’m comfortable looking out for other people’s kids.  But how about frank discussions with the 14-year-olds about using condoms? We need to keep THEM safe, too, and not from Evil Predators, but rather other kids their own age.    I’m just not comfortable being somehow required to look after other adults, who should be able to look after themselves.

Plus, I have better things to do with my life than peer out the curtains at other people’s lives, and I should freaking HOPE they have better things to do than peer at mine.