elfination

So, as an apparent nod to the Intelligent Design folks, we now have Ice Age 3.

Ice Age, as we all remember, had a sabertooth tiger, a giant sloth, and a woolly mammoth as primary characters. Their mission? to return a neo-human baby - a child with very appropriately Asian features - to its tribe… as they went on their great migration.

Then we had Ice Age 2: Electric Boogaloo, which featured our three primary male leads getting laid. That’s nice for them.

But now, we have Ice Age 3: Land of the Lost, Except Without Sleestaks. McDonald’s picked up the toys and marketed them as happymeals “A Million Years in the Making!!”

So let’s recap:

• Woolly Mammoth… “This mammoth species was first recorded in (possibly 150,000 years old) deposits of the second last glaciation in Eurasia. They were derived from steppe mammoths (Mammuthus trogontherii).”

• Sabertooth Tiger… “an extinct genus of large machairodontine saber-toothed cats that lived between approximately 2.5 million to 10,000 years ago in North and South America.”

• Giant Sloth… “The megalonychid ground sloths first appeared in the early Oligocene, about 35 million years ago, in southern Argentina (Patagonia). Megalonychids first reached North America by island-hopping, perhaps from the Antilles. Some lineages of megalonychids increased in size as time progressed. The first species of these were small and may have been partly tree-dwelling, whereas the Pliocene (about 5 to 2 million years ago) species were already approximately half the size of the huge Late Pleistocene Megalonyx jeffersonii from the last ice age.”

Okay.  So we can agree that, somehow, at some point, these three creatures did all live at the same time.  Though the Woolly Mammoths were primarily Eurasian.  But nevermind that.

Featured in the Ice Age 3: Jesus Canters In On A Velociraptor movie

are multiple “very angry fossils” that went extinct during the Mesozoic era (Jurassic, Triassic, and Cretaceous periods).

We’ve had a complete banking fiasco that started off innocently enough, and is now still not working out properly. It’s just plain epic fail.

So, rather than go on and on about it…

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8118257.stm

I’m gonna be out in a field in Australia, hopping in circles. See you there.

Thank you to Chip, my favorite Aussie ever!!

Diesel’s SFW XXX Party Clip - Watch more Funny Videos

My friend Joel from Australia sent me this…..

Amazing how you can find a beautiful saddle under a bunch of dirt!! All it takes is a tin of Saddle Soap and a whole lot of Neetsfoot Oil.

–Em

I know that Justin was being abusive by throwing things at me at work. I had actually noted the day and date, time, witnesses, etc. I was planning to discuss his behavior with the labor board. Justin has a few other issues going on. He didn’t allow us to take a half-hour lunch break during work. He didn’t have the federally required employment posters up *anywhere*. It was gonna be a nice laundry list.

My mom decided to completely preempt my efforts. This pisses me off to no end.

She’s also gone completely fucking crazy. I mean it. She’s been asking me crazy questions like, “Emily, could you google it on the internet and see if the CDC in Ohio ever decided if I had Swine Flu?”

Yes, like that’s the sort of information on the internet. God DAMN it, I’m tired of trying to handle her. If she’s gonna go crazy and insist that nobody help her (then whine about how nobody helps her), I want out.

–Em

I had a job at DirectBuy in Huntsville for 9 days.

I was doing the best of the new people. I actually got people to come in and become members.

The owner decided I really could get my calls “even tighter”, and toward that end, decided he’d flick paperclips at me whenever he heard me “begging people” on the phone. By “begging people,” he means “thanking them for their time”.

When the first paperclip didn’t really phase me, he pitched a gluestick at me. I was pretty offended. Said we’d have a problem if he hit me with something. We stopped having a problem. It was fine by the end of the night. Justin Manley is a douchebag, to be sure.

I mentioned this to my mom.

She took it upon herself to CALL JUSTIN AT HOME and THREATEN HIM to his wife. (oh, way to make the situation all better, mom, thanks, I’d handled it.)

Seems that they don’t want me to work there any more.

And if any of you out there know my cellphone number, it’s changing very soon. You can email me if I don’t text you to tell you what the new number is.

–Em

We’ve got a lot of Magic cards. I mean, a LOT of Magic cards. Like… holyWTF lots of Magic cards. Until last week, they were all in the PODS container.

We’re BROKE right now. BROKE BROKE BROKE. So, we made the decision to send me to Knoxville to find the cards so we can sell the valuable ones. We figured that, by spending $100 on travel, we’d get back about $600 in card value.

Last Saturday, I went to Knoxville and spent TWELVE HOURS moving boxes around. I fished out ALL the Magic cards, Barrett’s dress clothes, some of my clothes, my school supplies…. etc.

I returned on Sunday, with Barrett’s little Honda Fit completely stuffed. And Sunday evening, we began the process of sorting through boxes (and boxes and boxes) of Magic cards to find the high-value ones….

Okay, by “High Value,” I mean, “anything over $.50″. Last night, I sent off a buy list to StarCityGames (.com). It was approved.

The list is for $1600 worth of cards.

Yeah, it was a little more than $600. . .

Of course, the buyer has to evaluate the cards and confirm that when I said “Mint / Near-Mint” I didn’t mean “half-shredded”. (I didn’t.)

We’re looking forward to a nice pudgy check in the mail.

Barrett’s got us on a new webhost, too. Ohai!

If you were a user before, you will have to set that up again.